closed post: in the eye of the beholder

[tallyyoungblood]

Tally's had a lot on her mind since the death and the wedding. Life, love, the fragility of those things--but, of course, she is who she is, so her mind comes back to what it always does: beauty.

As much as she'd judged that strange man for his disheveled robes, everyone else had looked gorgeous, and happier than she'd ever seen a room full of pretties look. Most notably, they'd all looked legitimately different from each other, in just about every way possible. That the effect was beautiful instead of overwhelming is a new experience for Tally.

Tally feels like she knows what Claudius might say about the wedding. He'd heap effusive praise on everyone, and tell her that of course he wanted everyone to be uniquely themselves. She thinks he understands the halo effect better than anyone else she knows here, but also, as a former pre-Rusty king, understands how to deal with a crowd of adult uglies. Galahad, though, has never been someone Tally could guess at the thoughts of. He'd clearly been too happily overwhelmed to really talk at the ceremony itself, so she goes to knock on his door a few days later.

Comments

[tallyyoungblood]

Tally has to roll her eyes. "You can say that again," she says. "I got it to match my friend. She thought it was too boring for them to be a regular clock." Shay's faces flash through Tally's mind, all three of them, from too-skinny ugly to clueless pretty to cruel-pretty Special. "Shay's not big on moderation."

[onthewillowsthere]

"She's the person you chose your gift for. When we did the experiment."

[tallyyoungblood]

"Yeah," Tally says, remembering. It's shocking how much her feelings about Shay have changed since then, considering she hasn't actually seen her since then. "She's my best friend. Or maybe my worst enemy. Or maybe I was in love with her. You know." Saying it is scary, which is why she does it. She shrugs, even as her tattoo speeds up even further. "It's complicated. I guess I don't really do moderation when it comes to her, either."

[onthewillowsthere]

Galahad doesn't particularly understand this tangle of feelings, but he tucks away Tally's description of it anyway to talk about with Claudius later. Claudius knows all about complicated ways of loving people.

"Do you miss her?"

[tallyyoungblood]

"Yes," Tally says. "No. Yes."

[onthewillowsthere]

He waits.

[tallyyoungblood]

"I guess I found out she does something really bad to me in the future, on Evil Twin day," Tally says. "I mean, but, I did something pretty bad to her, too. So... I want to be friends with her again, but I'm not sure either of us can ever get over that."

[onthewillowsthere]

Galahad nods as he comes back over with the makeup and sets it down on the vanity. "Sit here." He's still listening, but he wants her in the right place.

[tallyyoungblood]

"Right. Sorry." Tally sits. "Do you think, if two people do really bad things to each other, maybe it cancels out?"

[onthewillowsthere]

He pulls the chair over from the desk and sets it on front of her, then sits as well so he can get started. The magazine is spread out as well, for reference. He's quiet so long, as he prepares, that it's possible to believe he's not going to answer, but after a while he says, "No. I think if two people do really bad things to each other, and they are sorry, and they make amends to each other, they are capable of forgiving one another. But they might choose not to."

[tallyyoungblood]

Tally, who had been lost in thoughts of Shay's cruel-pretty face, sort of jumps when Galahad speaks. She realizes she's been thinking of the bogus things she and Shay did to each other as moves in a complicated game, instead of just... actions that might exist separately from each other.

"I think you're right," she says. "Maybe Shay will see it that way someday, too. If I ever get to see her again."

[onthewillowsthere]

"I hope you do," Galahad says, because it seems important to Tally.

[tallyyoungblood]

"Thanks, Galahad-wa. Um, did you get a visitor, when visitors came?"

[onthewillowsthere]

"No. Claudius did."

[tallyyoungblood]

"Who? Was it, like, Hamlet?" Tally asks, interested. "Or Ophelia?"

[onthewillowsthere]

"Gertrude. The woman he loves."

[tallyyoungblood]

"Oh, right. Was that weird for you?"

[onthewillowsthere]

"Yes. I liked her and she was interesting, but I thought she would stay, and I thought he would want her instead of me."

[tallyyoungblood]

Tally nods, her mouth twisting into a frown. "I get that. Love is hard like that. I'm not convinced Harrow isn't going to show up and make Gideon do something stupid again."

[onthewillowsthere]

Galahad had not liked what Gideon had said about Harrow, and he says, a little clipped, "I hope she doesn't."

[tallyyoungblood]

Tally exhales hard, a little knot of tension releasing in her shoulders. "So you've heard about her? Doesn't she sound so bogus? She basically kept Gideon as a slave, and Gideon acts like she owed her her life." Tally shakes her head. "She doesn't deserve how brave Gideon was for her."

[onthewillowsthere]

"She wasn't kind to her." He didn't know about the things Tally is saying, though. "What did Gideon do for her?"

[tallyyoungblood]

"Oh. She died for her." Tally picks up an extra makeup brush and fans the bristles out. "They were being attacked and Gideon dying was the only way Harrow could live. That's how she got here. We don't really know if Harrow is alive, actually. Gideon was supposed to, like, become part of her? I don't know, it's all that bogus death magic stuff. You know, with the skull paint." Tally still can't think about this without thinking about how selfish she'd be in the same situation, how Gideon's loyalty extends beyond her own safety in a way Tally's never seems to, when it comes down to it.

[onthewillowsthere]

He thinks of the way Gideon had said The nunnery I'm from? It's also a prison planet. I still want to go home and, when he'd asked whether she intended to martyr herself, Putting it like that makes it sound more planned and holy than how desperate and stupid it actually was, but yeah.

"I'm glad she's here," he says quietly. "She should be allowed to choose for herself. And to not be alone."

[tallyyoungblood]

"Yeah," Tally says, around a lump in her throat. "And eat pizza and ice cream and stuff. And, you know, I'm not leaving her."