open post: averageness

[tallyyoungblood]

Tally's first clue that it hadn't been a dream was that she'd woken up alone in her room.

Nowadays, she and Gideon have been sharing a room, so that Tally can protect her from ever finding a body alone again--and maybe conspicuously leave out some clothes that fit Gideon but aren't, like, ratty black pants. That day, though, she'd woken in an empty room, gasping from something that felt like a nightmare, but somehow more vivid than real life.

Without even getting dressed, she'd run for the woods to confirm what had happened. Horror had flooded her when she found the knife-mark, exactly where she remembered throwing it yesterday. It was true. She'd been Special. She'd been awful. She'd seen and felt the world with more harsh clarity than she'd ever thought possible. She'd hit Gideon.

Tally had collapsed onto the stump, gripping her own arms to make sure her familiar, average body was still there.

Over the next few days, Tally doesn't sleep well, and people getting swapped out for a second time doesn't help. People might find her wandering the mansion like a zombie, or in one of the kitchens, contemplating getting drunk. She's not as put together as usual, either, but of course on her even bedhead and sweats look beautiful.

Comments

[sagramore]

He wants to hug her, but he isn't sure how she'll feel about it, and she's still sitting at the table, so it would be awkward -- so instead he reaches over and squeezes her shoulder gently.

[tallyyoungblood]

Tally looks at him gratefully, her eyes huge. She reaches up and gives his hand a squeeze where it touches her shoulder. "Maybe she did ask, I don't know. But I don't think I would have said yes."

[sagramore]

"No, I don't think you would have," he says, and whether or not it's true of that other Tally, he believes it of the Tally in front of him now.

[tallyyoungblood]

This makes Tally sob, startling herself, and she covers her face with her other hand. "Sorry," she gets out. Sagramore is reminding her too much of dads from Rusty movies, ones who she always secretly wished real dads would act like. Sol had never made assumptions about who she was, which made her feel like he didn't really know her at all. "Um."

[sagramore]

"Shh, no, it's all right. Don't be sorry."

[tallyyoungblood]

"Why couldn't she have a normal way of telling me she wanted me?" Tally sobs. "I spent all that time trying to fix everything for her."

[sagramore]

At this, he really does pull her into a hug -- and it is awkward, but it feels warranted. She's so miserable, and there isn't anything he can do to fix this for her; she just has to feel the grief of it, as he has with Mordred.

[tallyyoungblood]

Tally hugs him back, a little embarrassed, but not as much as she might have been if he'd been someone her age.

"Thanks," she says, pulling away and taking a quick sip of her coffee so she doesn't seem totally composure-missing. "It's just been a bogus couple days."

[sagramore]

"It has been," he agrees.

[tallyyoungblood]

At least Tally knows that her crying isn't ugly-making--pretties don't go red in the face or stream snot or anything like that.

"At least there's pancakes to look forward to. Right now, pancakes seem utterly load-bearing, mental health-wise."

[sagramore]

In spite of himself, Sagramore laughs. "Then I won't let you down. Perhaps I'll do a test run on the pancakes, too."