open post: averageness

[tallyyoungblood]

Tally's first clue that it hadn't been a dream was that she'd woken up alone in her room.

Nowadays, she and Gideon have been sharing a room, so that Tally can protect her from ever finding a body alone again--and maybe conspicuously leave out some clothes that fit Gideon but aren't, like, ratty black pants. That day, though, she'd woken in an empty room, gasping from something that felt like a nightmare, but somehow more vivid than real life.

Without even getting dressed, she'd run for the woods to confirm what had happened. Horror had flooded her when she found the knife-mark, exactly where she remembered throwing it yesterday. It was true. She'd been Special. She'd been awful. She'd seen and felt the world with more harsh clarity than she'd ever thought possible. She'd hit Gideon.

Tally had collapsed onto the stump, gripping her own arms to make sure her familiar, average body was still there.

Over the next few days, Tally doesn't sleep well, and people getting swapped out for a second time doesn't help. People might find her wandering the mansion like a zombie, or in one of the kitchens, contemplating getting drunk. She's not as put together as usual, either, but of course on her even bedhead and sweats look beautiful.

Comments

what is time

[recognizance]

It's inevitable that SecUnit, who also spends a lot of time wandering the mansion like a... well, like a SecUnit, will eventually cross paths with her. When it does, it instantly clocks the bedhead, the glazed eyes, and the fact that she's a normal-sized human with relatively little annoying blinky crap on her face. Without preamble, it says, "Are you okay?"

Re: what is time

[tallyyoungblood]

Tally winces, dreamlike memories resurfacing with a vengeance.

"Um... not really," she says. She looks at the floor, not wanting to look at SecUnit directly. "I'm sorry about your pillow."

[recognizance]

"My-- oh." It has to run back over its archive to catch that one. "It's fine. It wasn't my pillow, I wasn't using it."

[tallyyoungblood]

Well, fuck. That was the easy one to apologize for. "I'm sorry for everything else, too," Tally makes herself say. "I know you're not a human."

[recognizance]

Somehow it didn't expect that, even from normal Tally. Its internal organic parts do the weird squishy thing they do sometimes. In a slightly gentler tone, it says, "I know you know." After a moment, it adds, "At least Combat You still treated me like a person. Which was kind of weird, honestly, since it -- she -- didn't seem to think most humans were people."

[tallyyoungblood]

Tally grimaces. "Yeah. It was totally bogus. Everyone seemed beneath me, except you. She wanted to believe you were a Special like her, so she wouldn't be alone."

[recognizance]

"Huh." It's more a wry huff than a word. "I'm like the opposite of a Special."

[summerdude]

"Hey Tally," Magnus says, stumbling across her in a hallway. "You good?"

[tallyyoungblood]

Tally can tell at a glance that this is young Magnus, not crumbly Magnus, and she breathes a sigh of relief.

"I'm okay," she says automatically, then remembers what crumbly Magnus had said. Believe that he likes you. "I mean, um. I've been better."

[summerdude]

"Yeah?" Magnus slows to a stop, leaning against a wall. "What's up?"

[tallyyoungblood]

"Do you remember being a crumbly?" she asks. "I mean, when you got swapped out?"

[summerdude]

"Not even a little bit," Magnus admits. "I only know it happen cuz Hanguang-jun and Galahad told me."

[tallyyoungblood]

Tally groans. "You're so lucky." She's filled with a wild jealousy for Magnus. Not only was his alternate self's biggest flaw just being kind of boring, but he doesn't even have to remember it. "For me, it was like a nightmare. I... she... Special Tally, her memory is totally sharp. I think it sort of carried over."

[sagramore]

Sagramore has had Tally in the worry zone for a good long while, so when he sees her it seems like a perfectly good opportunity to check in.

"Tally! It's been a while," warmly.

[tallyyoungblood]

"Um, hey," Tally says. Somehow, his crumbly face is starting to look comforting, not scarily decrepit. "How are you?"

[sagramore]

"Pretty well, all things considered. How have you been?"

[tallyyoungblood]

"Not... great," Tally says, deciding it's useless to pretend that she doesn't look like a mess. "I had a totally bogus time with the alternate-self day."

[sagramore]

"Was your self objectionable, or someone else's you met?"

[tallyyoungblood]

"Mine, of course," Tally says bitterly. "I'm glad you didn't meet her. I can't remember, have I ever told you about Specials?"

[ninth_cavalier]

Gideon's been avoiding Tally. It's unfair, but that hasn't stopped her from doing it anyway. She doesn't want to have the conversation that they have to have before they can go back to whatever the fuck they're normally doing, the one where she has to be like, yeah, so, your Evil Twin was here, and I goaded her so much that she punched me in the mouth. Your Evil Twin was here and she's in love with your friend, who I think you still trust and maybe love but who is absolutely going to brainwash you, like, even worse than you're already brainwashed. Your Evil Twin was here and she was seven feet tall and it was super hot. Okay, actually, she doesn't mind saying the last one.

She's almost mustered the balls to go find her, but only almost, when they nearly collide in a hallway outside one of the kitchens. She catches Tally by the shoulders, instinctually, and then lets go, also instinctually, and then has no idea what to do. "Uh," she tries. "Hey."

[tallyyoungblood]

The more Gideon's been avoiding her, the more Tally's been going over what happened in her head, trying not to forget it, since she knows Gideon won't. She's even tried to write it down, but it turns out nightmares don't make for good handwriting practice.

When she sees Gideon's face, still bruised from where Tally hit her, she can't help but immediately tear up. She brushes at the tears furiously, almost wishing she'd kept the "not being able to cry" thing from being a Special. Gideon's the one who's hurt, not her!

"Um. Hey," she says back. "I remember. I--I'm so sorry."

[ninth_cavalier]

Gideon raises her eyebrows. "You remember?" That's new--Galahad hadn't remembered.

[tallyyoungblood]

"Yeah," Tally says. "I mean, um, not every second. It's like a nightmare?" She glances down at Gideon's arm, where she can see the scab from where Special Tally's nail bit in. It makes her feel sick to look at. "Her memory is, um, really clear. Crowley remembers being his alternate self, too," she adds. "It's not just me."

[ninth_cavalier]

"Saves me having to explain the shiner," Gideon jokes, without much humor, "but--shit, Whirlybird. How're you feeling?" It's a stupid question, given how visibly close to tears Tally is, but she doesn't know what else to say.

[tallyyoungblood]

"How am I feeling?" Tally blinks, shocked. The Whirlybird releases part of the pressure in her chest, at least. "You're the one she hurt." If Gideon were Shay, she'd never speak to Tally again.