open post: averageness

[tallyyoungblood]

Tally's first clue that it hadn't been a dream was that she'd woken up alone in her room.

Nowadays, she and Gideon have been sharing a room, so that Tally can protect her from ever finding a body alone again--and maybe conspicuously leave out some clothes that fit Gideon but aren't, like, ratty black pants. That day, though, she'd woken in an empty room, gasping from something that felt like a nightmare, but somehow more vivid than real life.

Without even getting dressed, she'd run for the woods to confirm what had happened. Horror had flooded her when she found the knife-mark, exactly where she remembered throwing it yesterday. It was true. She'd been Special. She'd been awful. She'd seen and felt the world with more harsh clarity than she'd ever thought possible. She'd hit Gideon.

Tally had collapsed onto the stump, gripping her own arms to make sure her familiar, average body was still there.

Over the next few days, Tally doesn't sleep well, and people getting swapped out for a second time doesn't help. People might find her wandering the mansion like a zombie, or in one of the kitchens, contemplating getting drunk. She's not as put together as usual, either, but of course on her even bedhead and sweats look beautiful.

Comments

[ninth_cavalier]

"Yeah, that checks out. You have to totally retrain your brain--carve new neutral pathways or whatever, I dunno, I'm not a brain nerd." Gideon leans back in her chair. "That's super cool, though. And hey, Tally?"

[tallyyoungblood]

"Yeah?"

[ninth_cavalier]

Gideon smirks at her, as wide and ridiculous as she can. "I'll take you to Bone Magic City any time you like."

[tallyyoungblood]

Tally bursts into laughter. "Gideon!" She grins back and smacks Gideon's arm. Her heart swells with fondness. Trust Gideon to break her out of being so utterly self-serious.

[ninth_cavalier]

"C'mere." Gideon hooks a leg around the leg of Tally's chair and pulls it closer to hers.

[tallyyoungblood]

Tally goes, her tattoo jumping to life. They've only been apart a few days, but it's been too long. She sort of wishes she were wearing something better than sweats, but then remembers that Gideon has approximately two and a half outfits, and relaxes.

[ninth_cavalier]

Gideon hadn't really had a plan beyond getting her closer, but she sees the whirling start up above her eyebrow and grins, leaning in to press a kiss to Tally's tattoo.

[tallyyoungblood]

Tally smiles too, scooting her chair the last few centimeters so that she can lean against Gideon's shoulder. It's kind of hard, since she's a little taller than Gideon, but she's determined to do it anyway.

"So, yeah. That's how I ruined Shay's life. And I guess she ruins mine too, by turning me Special. It's perfect, really. That way she can get her revenge and also keep me close."

[ninth_cavalier]

Gideon snorts, nuzzling at her cheek. "I couldn't be happier for her."

[tallyyoungblood]

"I have no idea what's going to happen to her. I guess, if I go back to my world..." Tally picks up one of Gideon's hands and plays with it, feeling the callouses and interlacing Gideon's fingers with hers. "If it's at the same time I left, I can try to stop it. Lock all the knives away, and stuff. I don't think the way we got together was especially... um... healthy."

[ninth_cavalier]

"Yeah, no kidding," says Gideon. Tally's hands are starting to callous up, too—even supernaturally soft and moisturized skin is still skin, and reacts to repetitive friction like all skin does. It's nice—like an outer sign of all the work Tally's putting in to fixing up the shit inside her skull, too. "I think probably telling her what you know about what might happen would maybe change stuff, too, right?"

[tallyyoungblood]

"If she believes me," Tally says. "She never believes me when I try to tell her that I'm not hurting her on purpose. But you believe me, right? If I had any control over the other Tally, I wouldn't have done any of that."

[ninth_cavalier]

Yeah, there goes all of Gideon's lingering affection for Shay. She frowns. "She thinks you hurt her on purpose?"

[tallyyoungblood]

"I mean, yeah. She thinks I stole David because I'm selfish and wanted attention from the bubbliest guy in the Smoke, even if my friend liked him. And in my memories from being Special, she told me I should have tried to share the cure with her instead of Zane--never mind that we had only seconds to take it because the Specials were about to find us. She was like, you just shared it with him because he's the leader of the Crims. I think she thinks I'm some kind of popularity-chasing monster. She's not wrong that I want to belong," she says quietly. "That was the whole point of being pretty, that I would be a part of something and never worry about being alone again. But I didn't want to hurt her to do it. It just happened that way."

[ninth_cavalier]

"Yeah, sounds like she needs to get the fuck over herself. It's almost like you make decisions based on criteria that aren't just about whether or not she'll get her feelings hurt."

[tallyyoungblood]

Tally snorts. "Yeah, you know, just maybe." It feels good to be talking about it like this, to take Shay off the tower she'd been perched atop in Tally's mind, if only for a moment. "I guess it makes more sense why she was so jealous now, though. I don't think she knew how to show me that she... um... wanted me."

[ninth_cavalier]

Gideon leans back to examine the ceiling innocently. "Wow, what a loser. Can't relate."

[tallyyoungblood]

"Oh, well, I think I'm getting pretty-minded again and forgetting," Tally teases. "You better remind me."

[ninth_cavalier]

"Okay," says Gideon, and slings one arm around her shoulders and the other up under her legs to pick her up and pull her into her lap.

[tallyyoungblood]

Tally makes a little delighted noise and kisses her, sliding her arms around Gideon's neck for balance. She likes the way Gideon does it, showing off her strength in a way that pretties never do, even though most new pretties could probably go toe-to-toe with her in an arm wrestling match. All that brand-new muscle, just to sit around pleasure gardens with.

She breaks away for a moment, a little breathless. "So, we've established we're definitely not mad each other," she says. "No grudges that will turn into nonconsensual surgery later."

[ninth_cavalier]

"Mhm," says Gideon, and kisses her again. Every time she does it drives the hard black eyes of Special Tally further from her memory, replacing her with the real, warm, laughing Tally in her arms.

[tallyyoungblood]

Tally's heart squeezes with fondness. It feels good to be close like this, Gideon's thighs radiating warmth up underneath her. She's definitely, definitely not repulsed anymore; she wants as much of Gideon touching her as possible. She brings a hand down to touch Gideon's side, then hesitates, remembering the scratches.

[ninth_cavalier]

Gideon wraps a hand around her wrist and finishes the motion, pressing her fingers to the healing wound. "S'okay."

[tallyyoungblood]

Tally traces over the wound, gentle, hoping she can erase what's been done emotionally if not physically. She kind of wants to see it, actually, or maybe she just wants to see Gideon with her shirt off. The thought makes her whole body warm. It feels realer and more like her own right now than it has since she's come back to herself. When she's satisfied, she kisses Gideon again and lets her hand wander over the rest of her side and her back.

[ninth_cavalier]

Gideon takes a breath in through her nose. She and Tally have made out before, obviously, but it's usually laughing, almost daring each other to see how far they get before one of them pulls back and changes the subject (or, lately, they separate to fall asleep—Tally in her bed; Gideon on the floor on the mattress she'd hauled from her own room, hands linked). This feels—softer, more intent. She breaks the kiss to nuzzle into the curve of Tally's neck. "We should, um. Maybe move somewhere that isn't the kitchen."