open post: averageness

[tallyyoungblood]

Tally's first clue that it hadn't been a dream was that she'd woken up alone in her room.

Nowadays, she and Gideon have been sharing a room, so that Tally can protect her from ever finding a body alone again--and maybe conspicuously leave out some clothes that fit Gideon but aren't, like, ratty black pants. That day, though, she'd woken in an empty room, gasping from something that felt like a nightmare, but somehow more vivid than real life.

Without even getting dressed, she'd run for the woods to confirm what had happened. Horror had flooded her when she found the knife-mark, exactly where she remembered throwing it yesterday. It was true. She'd been Special. She'd been awful. She'd seen and felt the world with more harsh clarity than she'd ever thought possible. She'd hit Gideon.

Tally had collapsed onto the stump, gripping her own arms to make sure her familiar, average body was still there.

Over the next few days, Tally doesn't sleep well, and people getting swapped out for a second time doesn't help. People might find her wandering the mansion like a zombie, or in one of the kitchens, contemplating getting drunk. She's not as put together as usual, either, but of course on her even bedhead and sweats look beautiful.

Comments

[tallyyoungblood]

"Mine, of course," Tally says bitterly. "I'm glad you didn't meet her. I can't remember, have I ever told you about Specials?"

[sagramore]

"You haven't." They've actually spoken very little. "Can I make you coffee while you tell me?"

[tallyyoungblood]

"I was, like, totally drunk at that party where we met," Tally remembers. "I stopped drinking since then. Um, mostly." She's half-planning on having a drink later. Being pretty-minded isn't sounding terrible today. "Coffee sounds good."

[sagramore]

"I was pretty drunk at that party too, to be honest with you." He steers them towards the kitchen. "And I didn't much care for my other self, either. So we have that in common."

[tallyyoungblood]

Tally gives him a sympathetic look. "I'm sorry," she says. "It seems like everyone had a pretty bogus time. Do you remember it? I mean, being him. Not the party."

[sagramore]

"No, I don't remember, but I was very cruel to someone I love."

[tallyyoungblood]

"Me too," Tally says, choking up a little. Ugh, but she's a mess. "I don't want to remember what Gideon's blood smells like. But I do."

[sagramore]

"Wait, wait. Slower, sweet. What happened?"

[tallyyoungblood]

"Sorry," Tally says, looking at the floor. "I'm being utterly confusion-making. Um. My other self was a Special. Like police, or guards?" she hazards.

[sagramore]

"It's all right, don't apologize. I don't know police -- like a knight? Someone who fights?"

[tallyyoungblood]

"Yeah, kind of. With the authority of the city government. And they did something to her brain."

[sagramore]

"What kind of thing?"

[tallyyoungblood]

"Like... they made her think she was better than everyone else. Everyone but other Specials disgusts her. I've had my brain damaged before, but this was something else."

[sagramore]

"Ah. So you thought yourself superior. Is that why you hurt Gideon?" He asks it gently, unaccusatory.

[tallyyoungblood]

Tally winces at the shift to "you," though she guesses she deserves it.

"Um, kind of. Gideon reminded me--her--of my ex. And also, Gideon was carrying her sword around. And she told me what she thought of me." Tally smiles wryly. "The other Tally had serious anger issues."

[sagramore]

"Well, that's something our other selves had in common. Have you spoken to Gideon since then?"

[tallyyoungblood]

"No. I think she's avoiding me. What about you? Did you talk to who you hurt?"

[sagramore]

"I did, actually, and when I did it turned out he wasn't upset with me. He knew the difference between me and my other self, and he knew I wouldn't have wanted or tried to hurt him."

[tallyyoungblood]

Tally gives him a watery smile. She's glad that's true for him, but she's too used to people she loves changing themselves and still holding grudges to be entirely reassured.

"That's good," she says. "What was different about him? Like what went differently in your life?"

[sagramore]

"He was a very angry, hard person, and he said things to hurt Asmodean. Thing he didn't know anything about. And he was a monster. A shapeshifter, a wolf."

[tallyyoungblood]

"A werewolf?" Tally stops herself before saying "Bubbly!" As an ugly, the idea of transforming into something else had always been totally appealing. Now, of course, she gets that transformation can be bogus, but at least werewolves got to go back and forth. "It is totally difficult to imagine you angry all the time," she says. "He was probably utterly pissed he ended up here."

[sagramore]

"I think he was angry that he couldn't stay. His world was a difficult place to live."

[tallyyoungblood]

"Are you happy you're here instead of at home, too?"

[sagramore]

"I'm so happy. Eternally grateful."

[tallyyoungblood]

Tally sits down at the kitchen counter, silent for the moment as various thoughts tumble and collide in her mind. Up until now, she's been trying to get out, but if being a Special is her future...

"You're alright giving up everyone from home?" Her voice isn't accusatory, just curious.