open post: averageness

[tallyyoungblood]

Tally's first clue that it hadn't been a dream was that she'd woken up alone in her room.

Nowadays, she and Gideon have been sharing a room, so that Tally can protect her from ever finding a body alone again--and maybe conspicuously leave out some clothes that fit Gideon but aren't, like, ratty black pants. That day, though, she'd woken in an empty room, gasping from something that felt like a nightmare, but somehow more vivid than real life.

Without even getting dressed, she'd run for the woods to confirm what had happened. Horror had flooded her when she found the knife-mark, exactly where she remembered throwing it yesterday. It was true. She'd been Special. She'd been awful. She'd seen and felt the world with more harsh clarity than she'd ever thought possible. She'd hit Gideon.

Tally had collapsed onto the stump, gripping her own arms to make sure her familiar, average body was still there.

Over the next few days, Tally doesn't sleep well, and people getting swapped out for a second time doesn't help. People might find her wandering the mansion like a zombie, or in one of the kitchens, contemplating getting drunk. She's not as put together as usual, either, but of course on her even bedhead and sweats look beautiful.

Comments

[tallyyoungblood]

Belatedly, Tally remembers about homelessness. "Not on my own. Living in a dorm in Uglyville. It's totally normal in my world. It's not like I was out on the streets."

[sagramore]

"It sounds like a difficult life all the same," frowning slightly.<sup>1

1</sup>Sagramore has already mentally slotted Magnus and Nina into a specific category of the worry zone: he's acutely aware that they're very young and yet have had non-stop bad things happen to them, and have a tendency to feel like everything rests of their shoulders alone. Tally is now being added to this same category. Shen Yuan, please come back and explain YA literature to him so he can describe this phenomenon.

[tallyyoungblood]

"From what Georgia's told me, it seems much worse to live with your parents. Curfews and having to explain to your crumblies what you've been doing all day seems like a total hassle. Much easier to learn how to trick the minders."

[sagramore]

That gets a laugh. "Georgia's time with her parents must have been very different from mine."

[tallyyoungblood]

"What were yours like?"

[sagramore]

"Mine didn't like me very much. I'm not well, and that was very disappointing to them."

[tallyyoungblood]

"That's so bogus, Sagramore-la. In my world, we--" Tally stops herself, thinking. She wants to say that the pretty operation fixed all that, but she remembers all too well the horrible days after she'd been denied her pretty operation, when her parents had refused to let her come home with them. She's never thought all that hard about the tiny percentage of people who can't get the pretty operation for medical reasons, but her heart hammers when she thinks of it now. "Well, I guess my world isn't perfect about that stuff, either. I'm really sorry."

[sagramore]

"It's all right. One of the things that's been better about this place is finding people who look past it or don't care, and love me anyway." He gives her a gentle look.

[tallyyoungblood]

"I don't care about it," Tally says hastily. "I mean, I like you the way you are."

[sagramore]

He laughs. "It's all right. It sounds as though your world is harder than mine in some ways."

[tallyyoungblood]

Tally shakes her head. "I doubt that," she scoffs. "I'll take the pretty operation over plagues and wars and capitalism any day."

[sagramore]

"Well, regardless, I think you should talk to Gideon. I really do believe she'll understand you weren't yourself when you hurt her."

[tallyyoungblood]

"I will, if I can find her. I totally owe her answers. Um, Sagramore-la, you're married, right?"

[sagramore]

"I am." His expression does turn a bit sentimental at the very mention of Laertes.

[tallyyoungblood]

"Did either of you have, like, big exes? Or people that made moving on to each other... complicated?"

[sagramore]

"I did, yes. My best friend. I loved him -- I still love him very much. I've realized we were... bad for each other, and I would choose Laertes and my life here over him, but I think I'll always love him and miss him."

[tallyyoungblood]

"Huh," Tally says. That's actually, like, totally relevant to her situation. "You feel like it's possible to move on from something like that?"

[sagramore]

"I think every day he takes up less of my world and there's more room for me to take it up with other people who've never hurt me.

[tallyyoungblood]

Tally grimaces. She's not sure when Harrow will ever take up less of Gideon's world.

[sagramore]

"It takes time. It won't happen right away."

[tallyyoungblood]

By then Gideon probably will have moved on to a different girl, one who hasn't turned into a monster and tried to kill her, like Tress or Nina, or something. Or maybe a natural pretty will show up at the mansion and Gideon will like her more because she's just as pretty as Tally, but didn't get any surge, and--

"Thanks, Sagramore-la," she says. "I hope so."

[sagramore]

"Talk to her, all right?" He sets the cup of coffee down in front of Tally. "If I'm wrong, you can tell me, but try first."

[tallyyoungblood]

Tally accepts it and nods. "I'll tell you how it goes. Don't want you to be gossip-missing." She gives him a smile.

[sagramore]

He laughs. "No, of course not. --Do they have pancakes in your world, by the way?"

[tallyyoungblood]

"Duh! What kind of a world doesn't have pancakes?"